Chapter 34
“What do you know about the aranti?” Netra asked Siena the next morning. They’d been walking for an hour and Siena hadn’t said a word. Netra was tired of pretending nothing had happened.
“The what?” Siena didn’t look at Netra. She looked older today and her steps were slower.
“The aranti. Creatures that live in the wind.”
“The Windcaller showed them to you.”
“Yes.”
Siena sighed. “I suppose it will do no good to try and convince you that what he showed you was a lie.”
“A lie? I saw them.”
“You saw something. Something a stranger told you were aranti. That’s all you know for sure.”
“You know what else I know for sure? You’re hiding something from me. The way you two argued—I think you already know Dorn.”
Siena shook her head. “I can promise you I have never met the man.”
“Then what are you hiding from me?”
Siena walked to a flat rock beside the road and sat down. Netra joined her. For a couple of minutes Siena didn’t say anything, just sat there with her head down. She seemed to be praying. Netra didn’t know what to expect, but she wasn’t prepared for what Siena said.
“It’s time you learned about your mother.”
Netra looked at her suspiciously. “What is there to learn? You said my mother died during childbirth.”
“It’s not true. None of what I told you was true. Your mother was one of us.”
Netra gaped at her. “My mother was a Tender?”
“She was my best friend. She still is.” The hand Siena laid on Netra’s knee was shaking.
It took a long moment for what Siena said to sink in.
“She’s…still alive?” Netra croaked.
The words hung in the air between them while each woman grappled with how to handle what came next.
“I think so.” Siena stared off into the distance. Then her voice grew stronger. “No, I know so. In my heart I would know if she died. Almost I feel I can hear her Song when I am very still.”
“Where is she?” Netra jumped up, as if she could run and find her mother right then.
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since she left.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about her before? Why did you lie to me all this time?”
“I couldn’t. I made a promise. Let me start at the beginning, please. Hopefully it will all make sense then. Will you sit back down?”
Netra eyed her warily, then sat back down.
“Shakre and I were very close. Like you and Cara. We shared everything. She was the best of us, you know. She had such an openness, such an affinity with all life. She could hear subtleties in LifeSong that none of the rest of us could. I think she was open to LifeSong all the time, as if she were constantly beyond. She would have been Haven Mother instead of me. She would have deserved it.”
“What happened?” Netra could feel the tears in her eyes and she brushed at them angrily.
“She was too much for us. She needed to be in a large Haven, perhaps the main temple during the Empire, or at the side of the Emperor himself. She had too many questions, too much energy. Life in a sleepy Haven out in the middle of nowhere was not enough for her. She was always digging, always trying to find more.” She turned toward Netra but still could not meet her eyes.
“One day we heard in town that there was a man living in a cave in the foothills to the west. No one knew where he had come from or why he was there. It was as if he just appeared. People whispered that he was a Windcaller.
“From the first time she heard of him, your mother was fascinated by him. Oh, we’d been warned about Windcallers, but that didn’t seem to do anything but make her more interested. One night she told me she was going to see him. Then. That night. She just had to meet him. She’d be back before dawn and none of the others would know she’d ever left.”
Siena ran a shaking hand across her face. “Why didn’t I tell the Haven Mother?” Her voice dropped to almost a whisper. “Why didn’t I go with her? Maybe I could have kept her from…what happened.”
Netra couldn’t breathe. She stared at Siena, willing her to continue.
“After that she went nearly every night and she came back late, her eyes shining with what she had seen and done. It was as if a new fire was stoked inside her. It flared brighter and brighter every day until I was sure the others would see it. I was miserable. I wanted to tell, to save her before it was too late, but over and over she swore me to secrecy. I could never refuse her. I could never break a vow I made to her.
“Until now.”
“They found out,” Netra breathed.
“Even a Tender who was blind could not have missed it. She was changed, glowing from within. She began to argue with the other Tenders, saying we didn’t know half of what the world was about, telling us we were blind and deaf to the true wonders around us. Finally, Ivorie, the Haven Mother, confronted her and she confessed.
“By then her pregnancy could no longer be hidden.”
Netra drew a sharp breath. She felt unsteady.
“Not only had she consorted with a blasphemer, but she lay with him. The other Tenders were outraged. Prinel—you don’t remember her, but she made Brelisha look cheerful—would have had her flogged on the spot and driven from us naked, if Ivorie hadn’t stayed her hand.
“But there was no denying that she would have to go. Short of taking a person’s life, your mother committed the most grievous crime imaginable. I know you don’t agree, but Windcallers are evil men. They are followers of Melekath as we are followers of Xochitl. To bear one’s child—it was unforgivable. And your mother was unrepentant.
“They locked her in her room while they decided what to do with her. They wouldn’t even let me in to talk to her. It didn’t take them long to make their decision: she would be exiled, her name stricken from our records. Her name would never be spoken on the premises again. It would be as if she had never existed.”
“That’s horrible,” Netra managed.
Siena nodded. “At the last it seemed to finally occur to your mother what she had done. She threw herself before them and actually begged. Never did I think I would see such a thing. She begged, but not for herself.
“She begged for you.”
Now Siena did meet her eyes and the tears there matched Netra’s own. “She knew you were a girl. And she wanted you raised a Tender. She begged them to let her stay until the birth, that she would go away then and never trouble us again.
“When she handed you to me and walked away for the last time it was the most painful moment of my life. She never looked back. I’ve never heard from her since. And until this day I have always honored the last vow she extracted from me: never to tell you of her. She wanted you to think her dead rather than know her shame.” Siena was crying hard now and Netra could not stop her own tears.
When she once again had herself under control, Siena asked her, “Do you hate me? For not telling you?”
“No,” Netra said, standing up and brushing at her tears. “I don’t think so.” She wanted to run away. She was breathing hard.
“You see now why Brelisha has always been so hard on you. She is afraid you will follow your mother’s path.”
“I don’t hate you,” Netra said, turning away. “I don’t hate Brelisha either. But I don’t think I can ever forgive you.”
Then something occurred to her and she turned back. “You think Dorn is that Windcaller, don’t you? You think he’s my father.”
“I don’t know. I never met him.”
“I might have just met my father, but I didn’t have a chance to ask him because you never told me the truth. How could you do that to me?”
Siena had no response.
Nelton wasn’t much, as cities go. The defensive wall was mud, baked in the hot desert sun to the consistency of stone. It couldn’t have been home to more than ten thousand souls, scratching by on the arid soil surrounding the city, augmenting their crops with herds of shatren and sheep that grazed on the sparse desert vegetation. A river ran right by the city, except that it wasn’t much of a river, being strictly dry sand for most of the year. A sudden, harsh rain could bring the river to brief life, boiling brown and frothy over its banks. But two or three days later it was as dry as ever, only some scattered damp spots and leftover debris clinging to the boles of the cottonwood trees along its banks giving proof that there was ever water there at all.
Still, the water wasn’t too far below the surface, especially by desert standards, and with wells and water screws turned by teams of mules, the residents of Nelton managed to bring up enough to support hardy crops and supply themselves with the necessary drinking water.
It wasn’t much of a city, but to Netra it might have been Kaetria itself. She’d never been to a town larger than Tornith. She and Siena crested a low ridge and there was Nelton down below, its whitewashed mud brick walls gleaming in the late afternoon sun. To her it looked like a jewel, a perfect piece of quartz stumbled on in the dirt. In that moment her wonder washed away the hurt and confusion that had dogged her since Siena’s confession.
“Oh,” she said. “Look.”
Siena stopped with her and looked down on the city she hadn’t seen in twenty years. “Mostly like I remembered it,” she said, wiping sweat from her face with a cloth.
“There are so many people. Look at them all.” They seemed as numerous as ants, swarming back and forth meaninglessly. “How can so many of them live all together in one place? Don’t they feel crowded?”
“Some of them do, I imagine,” Siena replied. “Most of them have grown used to it and don’t notice.”
Netra started down the hill, not too far from breaking into a run.
“Just a moment!” Siena called after her. Netra waited impatiently while she caught up. “Put your traveling cloak on, so no one can see your robe.”
“Do you really think we need to? We’re going to roast with those things on.”
Siena shrugged. “I just think it’s best to be careful until we know more about what’s going on.”
Netra sighed and dug her cloak from her pack, thinking longingly about her trousers and shirt. That’s what she’d really like to be wearing. Siena would be scandalized.
“What Arc do the sisters in Nelton belong to?” she asked, digging out her cloak and wrapping it around her. “They’re not browns too, are they?”
“The sisters of Nelton Haven are of the Arc of Plants,” Siena replied, carefully buttoning her cloak.
“Greens,” Netra said. “From the looks of those fields I would think the farmers would be happy for any help they could get.”
“Unfortunately, they face the same prejudices we do in Tornith.”
“They’re probably about as helpful as we are too,” Netra replied, thinking of a dying bull shatren.
It was late afternoon when they finally got to the city. Up close the wall had long cracks in it and large chunks had fallen out at the base. The gate was a miserable thing of sagging timbers and dry rot and the only guard paid little attention to the people passing through. He wore a dirty uniform and sat on a rough stool in the shade of the gate, drinking now and then from a large clay jug at his feet. Quite a few people were passing through the gate, all of them heading into the city. Some drove sheep or goats and there were several pack mules heavily laden.
Netra stopped when they got near the gate and put her hand to her temple, a worried look on her face.
“What is it?” Siena asked.
“There’s something wrong here.”
“Something wrong?” Siena asked, suddenly alarmed. “You mean like Critnell?”
“No. It’s not like that. I don’t know what it is exactly. Something in the Song.” She got a curious look on her face. “There’s something else, too. Something in the background. It’s powerful and it’s old.”
“Maybe you’re just tired.” Siena was anxious to get into the city. She wasn’t ready to spend another night outdoors. She’d slept hardly at all last night. Part of it was that she couldn’t get comfortable on the ground, but mostly it was because she’d felt so vulnerable out there. She kept feeling like at any moment some monster was going to charge out of the darkness and attack them.
“I don’t think that’s it.”
“I really don’t want to stand here and talk about it. We’re blocking the way. We’ve come a long way, we’re going in. Come on.” She took Netra’s arm and steered her toward the gate.
Siena nodded at the guard as they passed through the gate. He gave her a look of general apathy. Inside, the heat and stench were appalling, the air thick with sweat and urine. No breezes stirred the air. The street was packed with people. Siena guided Netra over to the side of the street, somewhat out of the press.
“It’s worse in here,” Netra said. “There’s something definitely wrong with the Selfsongs of the people here. Can’t you hear it?”
Siena tried, but there were too many people around, too much activity, and she couldn’t concentrate. She shrugged. “It sounds okay to me.”
“Really?”
“Really. Look, Netra, we’re here for a reason, remember? We need to connect with as many of our order as we can so we can be ready when Xochitl returns. We can’t do that if we turn and run every time something doesn’t feel just right to you.”
Netra gave her a skeptical look. “You can’t hear Song right now, can you?”
“No, I can’t,” Siena admitted. “I’m tired, my feet hurt, and I want to go to the Haven. It’s getting late and I don’t want to be wandering these streets in the dark. Do I need to remind you that we don’t have any money to pay for a room?”
Netra looked undecided. Siena felt herself getting impatient. It felt to her like far too many people were looking at them and those looks weren’t very friendly. The longer they stood here, the greater the chance something would happen. They needed to get to the safety of the Haven.
“Maybe I should just wait outside the city,” Netra said.
“No. Absolutely not. We stick together. We’re not discussing this anymore. Let’s go.” Siena started down a side street. She was relieved when Netra followed.
They were skirting a large pile of rotting garbage, replete with rats that seemed to have no fear of people, when Netra said, “Was it this dirty the last time you were here?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. It’s been almost twenty years.” Siena had to admit that the place was pretty foul. How come there was no breeze at all? Outside the walls it had seemed pretty windy. A breeze would go a long way toward lifting at least some of the stench.
“Are you sure you remember where the Haven is?”
“I talked to Bronwyn before we left. Remember, she was here just a few years ago. Between what she told me and what I remember, we should have no problems.”
They turned a corner and nearly tripped over a man lying sprawled in the street. He had no visible wounds, but there were large sores on his body and he wasn’t moving. Netra paused as if to check on him.
“No, Netra. There’s nothing we can do for him.” She plucked at Netra’s arm, trying to pull her away from him.
“How do you know? We haven’t looked at him.”
“It’s not our problem. We’re here for another reason.” Netra scowled but let herself be pulled on past.
“How could they just leave him there like that?” Netra asked. “Why doesn’t anyone do anything?”
“It’s a city.”
“What does that mean?”
“Cities have beggars and homeless people. It’s just how they are.”
“His clothes weren’t dirty. I don’t think he was a beggar.”
“Then maybe he was attacked. Whatever it is, it’s a job for the city watch, not us. We don’t want to be nearby when they show up.”
“He definitely wasn’t attacked. I think whatever’s wrong with him is what’s wrong with this whole place. There’s some kind of sickness here. He’s not the only one, either. Look at that woman.”
She pointed at a young woman who was leaning against a wall. She seemed to be gasping for breath. There was a large sore on the back of one hand.
“All the more reason why we want to hurry,” Siena replied. “The longer we stay out here in the open, the greater the risk to us.”
As they continued on she had to admit that there were quite a few people who looked unwell. Some were coughing. A fair number had sores. Others just looked kind of listless. “Maybe there’s some kind of plague here.”
“If there is, it’s no ordinary plague,” Netra replied. She rubbed her arms. “I’m telling you, there’s something wrong here and I don’t think it’s a normal illness.”
“How do you know that?” Siena said irritably. Netra was starting to frighten her. She was even starting to question whether they should have entered the city at all. Why couldn’t Netra just be quiet and follow?
“I don’t know. It’s just a feeling I have. I can practically feel it on my skin.” She rubbed her arms again. “I feel like I’m getting a rash.”
“We’re not leaving just because of a feeling. We’ve come too far.”
The street opened up onto a small square. “Look,” Siena said, feeling relieved. “There’s the red sign, just like Bronwyn said. All we have to do is go down that street for a few minutes and we’ll be there. You’ll feel better once we’re in the Haven, you’ll see.”
“I don’t think I will.”
Siena spun on her. “Okay, Netra, I get it. You’re angry with me for not telling you about your mother. I apologized and I know it doesn’t mean anything to you but there’s nothing else I can do right now besides that. You wanted to come along. No one made you.”
“I know. It’s just that—”
“Stop. I don’t want to hear it. You’re just getting yourself all worked up. The people here are poor, okay? That’s what’s wrong with the place. It’s the only thing wrong with this place.”
Netra looked unconvinced. She was still rubbing her arms.
“So we can continue on now?”
“Do we have to stay the night here? Can’t we just meet with them quickly and leave?”
“Really, Netra? The sun’s almost down. It will be dark soon. Wouldn’t you rather sleep indoors, in a Haven with your sisters?”
“No. I’d rather get out of here right now.”
“That’s not going to happen. Besides, they’re probably locking the front gate right about now.”
Netra’s eyes widened. “They’re locking the gate? We’re trapped here?”
“Not trapped. It’s what they do in cities. It’s to keep people safe.”
“I don’t feel safe.”
Siena tried to force herself to be calm. She took Netra’s hand. “You’ve been through a lot lately. It’s normal to be frightened. But we’re safe here. As safe as anywhere. You need to just calm down. We’re going to go to the Haven. You’ll feel better once we’re indoors. Who knows, you might even make a new friend there.”
Netra nodded slowly. “I still say there’s something wrong here, but I won’t say anything more. Maybe I am just overreacting.”
“That’s better. Everything is going to be okay. You’ll see.”
Siena almost gasped with relief a few minutes later when they finally reached the Haven. It sat at the end of a narrow dirt street, its windows hooded with heavy shutters. Like so many of its neighbors, the Haven was a drab little building of baked mud bricks. It had been whitewashed once, far in the past, but now that whitewash had mostly worn away and there were lizards hiding in the cracks in its walls.
Siena rapped on the door, which was made of badly-warped, rough-cut wood planks. Her knees hurt and a deep weariness ran up the back of her legs and along her spine. It felt like she had been on her feet for forever. She rubbed at her eyes and they were gritty and sore.
The door opened. The woman standing there was skinny. Her green robe was old and covered in stains, at least one of which seemed to be blood.
“I…we’re Tenders from Rane Haven,” Siena said. “We’ve come to talk with you.”
The woman just stared at her as if she was speaking a foreign language, then Siena realized she recognized her.
“Wendin?”
The Tender looked at her oddly. “Do I know you?”
“It’s Siena. I met you years ago, when I came to Nelton. Don’t you remember?”
The woman squinted at her and then a crooked smile played across her lips. “I do, I do,” she said. “Sorry, you surprised me. We don’t get visitors very often. Come in. You’re just in time.”
Siena wondered what they were just in time for, but decided not to ask right then. They followed Wendin down a dim, low-ceilinged hallway. The hallway led to a room lit only by a window high up in one wall. There was one other woman in the room, sitting at a rough table, staring at a knife lying on the table before her. She was younger than Wendin by a couple of decades, probably in her mid-thirties, though it was hard to tell for sure.
“Sit down, sit down,” Wendin said. “I’d offer you something but the truth is we’re about to go out so all that will have to wait. Why have you come? Are you here to listen to the Voice?”
“No, I…” What voice was she talking about? “We bring rather bad news, I’m afraid.”
Wendin grew serious. “What bad news?”
Siena took a deep breath. Was there any good way to say this? “We think the prison is cracked. We think Melekath may be escaping.”
“Oh, we already know about that,” Wendin said lightly. “You had me worried when you said you had bad news.”
“You don’t consider this bad news?”
“Of course not! Why would we be upset that Father is returning?” Seeing the stunned look on Siena’s face, she added, “Sorry. I’m being silly. You’ve not heard the Voice yet. That’s why you’re confused. You don’t know the blessings we are all about to receive.”
Siena looked at Netra. Netra looked just as confused as she felt. “What in the world are you talking about? How can Melekath’s escape be considered good news? Why are you calling him Father?”
“I could explain it to you, but we really haven’t the time and it would be much better if you just listened to the Voice, who explains it much better than I possibly can. We’re just about to go to the nightly gathering. You can come with us.”
Suddenly Siena wished she had listened to Netra and left the city. Clearly Melekath had already corrupted this place and the Tenders here as well. She stood up. “Maybe we should just go. We don’t want to intrude. We can talk with you after the gathering.”
“Nonsense. You’re not intruding at all. The Voice wants us to spread the word to as many as possible. You must come with us.”
“We’re tired and we’ve come a long way so—”
The other woman spoke for the first time. “You’re coming with us.” She was eying them suspiciously and Siena realized with alarm that the knife was now in her hand. It was a large knife.
“There’s really no need to threaten them, Tara,” Wendin said. “They just don’t know yet.”
Tara just continued to stare at them.
“Shall we go then?” Wendin said. “We don’t want to be late and miss anything.”
Siena and Netra exchanged looks. Siena wished she could apologize right then, tell Netra she should have listened to her. She would have to tell her later.
If there was a later.
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