Chapter 22

A hand grabbed the back of Nalene’s robe, stopping her fall, but not pulling her back to safety.

“Help me!” she gasped, her heart beating wildly. “Pull me back!”

“Are you the one? Are you the FirstMother who can lead the Tenders to war?”

“I am, I am!” She dangled like a puppy from his grip. Panic threatened to overwhelm her. One foot found purchase, then lost it. The chasm yawned beneath her. Dislodged stones clattered against the sides, but she didn’t hear any of them strike bottom.

“I told you to trust me. If you don’t, we have no chance against Melekath.”

“I do trust you! I promise!” She thought she heard a seam in the robe rip. She tried to turn, to take hold of his arm, but she couldn’t.

“Then why do you struggle so? If you trust me, then why do you fear I will drop you?”

“I’m afraid. I don’t want to fall and die.”

“So you do doubt me.”

“No. I…I trust you.” There was a loud ripping sound, unmistakable this time. She dropped several inches as the old fabric began to give way.

“Your words say one thing, but your actions betray a different truth. I do not know that you are the one I am looking for.”

With a supreme act of will, Nalene forced herself to stop struggling. She took deep breaths, trying to slow her breathing. “I’m sorry, Protector.”

“Apologies are no good to me. Apologies will not defeat Melekath.”

“I know that. Only strength and courage will.” Her mouth was dry and it was hard to say the next words. “If I am not the one, I would rather die.” As she said those words, she knew they were true. “I accept your will in this, Protector.” She closed her eyes and tried to prepare herself for death.

All at once the fabric gave way completely and she fell—

A hand like stone grabbed her arm and dragged her up out of the crack and back onto solid ground.

Nalene lay there on the ground for a moment, trying to get a hold of herself, trying to get the sick feeling of falling to leave. Then she sat up and dragged herself to her feet, forcing herself to meet Lowellin’s eyes.

“Thank you, Protector.” There was within her a question: Did she fall into the crack, or was she pushed?

“Your thanks, as your apologies, are meaningless. Only one thing matters. Do you understand me?”

“I understand. I will not fail you.”

He stared at her, gauging the depth of her determination. It was strange how clearly she could see him in the quickly-fading light. His face might have been cut from raw stone, the angles in it were so sharp. There was no facial hair at all, beyond the merest suggestion of eyebrows.

“It is time to claim your weapon.”

“I’m ready.”

Just a hint of a smile. “No, I don’t think you are. You’re just ignorant.”

She tried to match his iron will. Her shoulders were square, gaze steady, hands still by her sides. “Nevertheless.”

“It waits for you in the River.”

That surprised Nalene, though she tried not to let it show. The River? How could her weapon be there? What was it? “Are you going to summon the River, then?”

“No. Ilsith will take you there.”

Nalene looked around. There was someone else here?

“For this, you need the clear vision of beyond. Go there now.”

“I…I need a few minutes.” Going beyond had once been commonplace for the Tenders, as natural as breathing. Now, only a few were able to make it there. Nalene had only managed to go beyond a few times, and only with a great deal of effort. “I have to calm myself.”

“I have other things to do this night.” Before she could react, he reached out and tapped her on the forehead with his finger.

She blinked, and she was beyond. Beyond was not a physical place. It could more correctly be said that it was a state of heightened perception, where LifeSong could be perceived, though not with the eyes, rather with deeper senses.

Her body was not visible there, only the glowing outline of her akirma, the shell that contained her Selfsong, the energy that kept her alive. But it was vague, partially obscured by the mists that enshrouded beyond.

“Come, Ilsith, my Other.”

She heard his words as if from a great distance. Lowellin himself was not visible.

Then she felt a new presence, there in the mists with her. There was something frightening about it, something alien.

Suddenly she wanted very badly to leave beyond and return to the familiar world.

A black, sinewy shape appeared in the mists and slid toward her. She tried to get away from it, tried to will herself back to normal perception, but she could not leave.

“Ilsith will take you to the River. Do not resist or it may injure you.”

Nalene tried to call out to Lowellin, to tell him she wasn’t ready. She didn’t want that thing to touch her. Maybe this was all a very bad idea. But she felt trapped and from here she could not find the control over her own body.

The black, sinewy shape wrapped itself around her akirma and dimly Nalene felt pain, which surprised her. She had been taught it was not possible to feel pain beyond.

Ilsith tightened its grip, then jerked. There was a moment of disorientation and then Nalene realized she was seeing her own akirma from outside herself.

She was in her spirit-body.

Before she could fully grasp the enormity of what Ilsith had done, it raced away with her and her akirma faded into the distance.

They went deeper into the mists, though it would not be accurate to say that they went down. Or up. Or sideways. Only deeper.

The mists whipped past them, then faded and disappeared altogether. Nalene had never been this deep beyond, though she had read about it. Without the mists to obscure them, the flows of LifeSong that sustained all living things became visible, like glowing threads of golden light, branching this way and that in the velvety darkness.

The golden threads led to pinpoints of light, some white, some with a golden brown hue, some blue, most in varying shades of green. Each pinpoint of light was a living thing, kept alive by its individual flow of Song.

It was, quite simply, the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

Or it would have been, had Ilsith not kept her tightly in its grip as it hurtled ever deeper beyond.

The tiny pinpoints faded and disappeared. The golden threads of light joined to larger, thicker flows, like the branches on a vast tree. The Life-energy contained in one of those branches was enough to sustain hundreds or even thousands of people, Nalene knew. In the days of the Empire, the more powerful Tenders were able to tap into those branches and use the power contained therein to do remarkable things.

Deeper still and the branches led back to a trunk, shining golden in the darkness, rippling as the constantly-flowing energy of Life passed through it. There was power great enough to sustain an entire city or, as happened once, destroy an entire city.

But none of it prepared Nalene for what she saw when they reached their destination.

The River.

It looked like a vast, golden river suspended in darkness. Its ends were lost in the distance, but the Tenders believed that it flowed in a huge, never ending circle. Mighty currents swirled within it, all the Life-energy of an entire world contained within it.

The sight was so awesome that for a moment Nalene forgot her fear, forgot all about Ilsith and even the Protector. The power radiating from it was so vast that she knew in an instant that there was no way the Tenders holding out in the temple in old Qarath had ever attempted to harness that power, regardless of how strong they were or how many of them there were. It simply could not be done, no more than the ocean could be tamed by humans. Even to go too close to it would be certain destruction.

Ilsith raced toward it.

In that distant, supernatural place where sound did not exist, Nalene screamed. Maybe her body, still back in the temple, screamed as well. She had no way to know. All she knew was that the raw power of the River was tearing her apart. Her akirma was being shredded like a cobweb in a hurricane, her Selfsong snuffed out like a candle.

Yet somehow, miraculously, she was not torn apart. Somehow Ilsith was strong enough to keep her intact.

Then they were right by the River, close enough to touch it. Awestruck, Nalene stared into its depths—

And that was when she saw them.

Tiny, wriggling creatures swam in the River, like pale, bleached tadpoles. They seemed utterly frail, far too weak to survive there, but somehow they did. Not just survived, but thrived, riding the currents as easily as a hawk rides a thermal high in the sky.

An appendage shot out from Ilsith, snatched one of the creatures and tore it from its home.

It pulled the thing in close and they began the journey back to the normal world.

          

Nalene opened her eyes to darkness and the sound of someone gasping for air. It took a moment before she realized that it was herself she heard.

She rolled onto her side, gasping turning into coughing. Her body felt distant, unresponsive, as if she had been gone from it for a very long time and it had forgotten her.

Gradually she became aware of something on her chest, just above her breast. She sat up and pulled her robe down so she could see what it was.

Moonlight was streaming in through the broken dome and it lit up something lying there, nestled against her skin. It was milky-white and smaller than her thumb, as perfect as a tear. It was the thing Ilsith had pulled from the River.

“What is it?”

“It has no name. Such a thing has never been in the world before. Call it a sulbit, for that is what it is for.”

“And this…this is the weapon you spoke of?”

“It will be. When it has had time to grow and you have trained it properly. A creature of pure Song, for controlling the raw power of Song.”

“It’s beautiful.”

Lowellin made no response to that, merely stared down at her, his hands clasped over the head of his staff.

“I will take care of it,” she said fiercely, some forgotten, elemental mothering instinct rising within her suddenly. “I will make sure it is safe.”

“It will need to be fed if it is to grow.”

“What do I feed it?”

“It feeds only on Song, nothing else.”

That made sense. It came from the River after all. But she still didn’t understand. “I don’t know how to do that. I don’t understand where this Song will come from.”

“It will come from you.”

She looked up at him, chilled by his words. “It will feed off me?”

He shrugged. “For now.” He started to leave and she reached for him.

“Wait. I have so many questions.”

“They can wait. Care for the creature. Prepare the other Tenders to receive theirs.”

He strode away and was gone.

Nalene tried to get to her feet but she felt dizzy and had to give it up. She would rest here for a while before walking home.

Just a little while.

          

Nalene awakened stiff and cold on the stone floor. Her eyelids fluttered open and nothing she saw made sense. Where was she? Bits of rock bit into her cheek; her neck was sore. Haze filled her mind. Gingerly she sat up.

Then it came flooding back to her. She pulled the neck of her robe down and there it was.

It was even more beautiful in the daylight. It seemed to glisten slightly. It was pale, cloudy like a pearl, smooth and perfect, curving and tapering at one end like the hint of a tail. With the tip of her finger, she stroked it gently.

When she touched it, something happened. It was like a link opened between them. She became aware of its presence in a new way, like a faint murmuring at the edge of her heart. Very dimly she sensed the world as it sensed it and knew that it was confused and frightened at the change in its environment.

“It’s okay,” she murmured. “I’m here. I’ll take care of you. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

Its fear seemed to ease some then, and she smiled.

She looked around and what she saw awed her.

The world was different.

Colors were sharper than ever before, every sound clearer. She was aware of her body and her surroundings at a level she had never known. She could feel the tiniest breeze tickling the small hairs on her arms. She felt an ant running across the edge of her robe.

It thrilled her and for several minutes she sat there, savoring the feel of it all. Her sulbit had opened a whole new world to her. It was amazing, wondrous, new.

But there was too much to do to sit here. She took her hand away from the sulbit and at once the day faded. She felt dry and empty and listless. She had small pains everywhere from sleeping on the floor. Her mouth was dry and had a metallic taste.

Shakily, she stood up. Judging by the light, it was about an hour after sunrise. The others would be worried. They would be wondering if she would return.

She walked outside and on the steps of the temple she stopped, breathing in the morning air, looking out over the ruins of old Qarath. This morning was like no morning before it in the history of the world. She had taken the first step, gone where no Tender had ever gone before, and brought something back into this new day. It overwhelmed her, made her feel how small her entire life had been to this point. It excited her to think where this might all lead, once she learned the boundaries of her new power.

She would be the master of LifeSong and she and her sisters would use that elemental power to defeat Melekath. Xochitl would smile on them once again. The Tenders would return to their rightful place. They would be honored. People would look at them in awe as they passed. As if in a vision of the future she saw the pitfalls that awaited them, the traps of pride and wealth they had fallen into during the Empire. But she had plans for that, ideas on how to steer her order clear of those traps.

She walked through the ruined city like a woman walking on clouds. The decay and destruction around her was nothing. Once Melekath was defeated she would see to it that this symbol of glory was again restored to its luster. There were no limits to what she and her Tenders would do. She would be known as one of the greatest Tenders, spoken of for thousands of years.

She had left the city behind and was walking down the pitted road toward Qarath when she was assailed by a sudden, powerful hunger. But it was no normal hunger. Then it came to her.

This hunger wasn’t hers.

She pulled down the neck of her robe and looked at her sulbit. Was it her imagination, or had it lost some of its luster? She needed to feed it.

The thought of being fed on frightened her. She tried to tell herself that it would be no different than what a normal mother would feel, nursing her baby, but that didn’t really help.

There came the smallest pinch from where the sulbit was nestled against her. Hard after that came an enervating feeling, as if something vital was draining away.

The sulbit was consuming her Selfsong.

Her knees started to buckle and she had to sit down. The urge came to rip the creature off her breast and toss it away but she resisted it. The Protector had told her this would happen. The Protector would not have given her the sulbit if he didn’t think she could handle it.

She bit her lip and let her new child feed off her.

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